I’m on Facebook these days. It’s been nice to re-connect with some folks I normally wouldn’t have ever spoken to again for the rest of my life. I’ve got friends now, again, in my list, I was friends with but have lost touch over the years. Now I can “talk” to them through the ol’ FB…you know how it is.
At this point I feel like I need to send out a pre-emptive sorry to “L” for not asking if you mind if I write about our short conversation on “The World of Brent”.
So…Facebook. I’m checking my e-mail and I open another tab and put FB in that tab just so I can see what people are doing in their lives, or if I can pick a fight with someone about Japanese whaling, or just in case I see something that peaks my interest. So…I check my e-mail, of which I get so few it only takes a minute…if that…I click on the FB tab and low and behold I have a message. How exciting!!!! Ohhhh, a FB message, I wonder who could be messaging me???? I’ve been hearing about these people going to Whidbey Island and I’m wondering if this woman I know from Japan is writing me to tell me she has told everyone I want to come out there and they are going to fight for me…they are going to get the detailer to change my orders…they WANT me…they NEED me…YEAH, WHIDBEY ISLAND HERE COME THE YAMADA’S AND THEIR HIPPY…Oh, it’s from someone else.
I open the thing up and when it comes up this girl…again, sorry “L”, I know you are a woman now but I’ve got this problem…I’m still remembering when you guys first got to Hanford and you used to come over and watch the A-Team…. She says she reads my blog. Now I am not really one to need people to read my stuff…it’s mostly for family…who know I am a horrible caller and an even worse e-mailer, in general I’m just not as communicative with “home” as I should be…right Mom and Hannah? Anyway, “L” reads my blog once in a while, sweet, but…she tells me…as she remembers it, I am an athiest. I’ve written a few things, here, and here, but also here, here, and here, about God. Not a prolific writer but enough to let it be known I’m listening and trying, really trying….
Since then, I’ve been wondering…what have I done in my past…during my life, that would make someone think I am an atheist? I’ve been wracking my brain…I’ve replayed countless events…I’ve thought and thought and thought…an atheist? Really? Dictionary. com defines atheism as 1.the doctrine or belief that there is no God. 2.disbelief in the existence of a supreme being or beings. (noun) How much of a wishy-washy Christian have I been in my life that I could have inadvertently given someone the impression that I don’t believe in God? An atheist chooses to not believe in God, or a god(s). Ok, ok, yes, it is true I AM going to church on Sundays now…but it’s a Nazarene church…Joelle says it’s the closest to SDA…it’s fun, I enjoy the people, I listen to the sermon(not just because I’m running the slides), OH…I RUN THE SLIDES…but I’m still going to give one or several SDA churches a chance to tickle my fancy when I get back to Sandy Eggo…SD…San Dawg. I went to PUC out of High School…I went to Armona Union Academy, for like 14 years(no, not because I was held back, my mom taught there) I’ve brought donuts to my moms 7th and 8th grade classes, many times. I used to go to Armona SDA church, then Hanford SDA church…I got into a car accident and probably should have at least been hurt…virtually unscathed…except a little scar on my toe. Our guardian angels were watching over us that day for sure…otherwise at least one of the three of us would be dead. Atheist?
Hmmmmm. I’ve not really been able to come up with any reason or any time in my life when I’ve even come close to NOT BELIEVING that God just didn’t exist. There have been times when I’ve not walked with the Lord…I’ve left Him outside the bar waiting for me to return, so he could help me back to the ship…drunk. He’s helped me not died from getting my head kicked in because I was to drunk to run. He has shown me the “green flash” as the sun goes down below the horizon, and countless other things…I rode an elephant, a real live elephant…fed them bananas. So many things He has shown me….
“L”, Please accept my most humble apology for leading you to believe that I didn’t believe. I’m sorry if I have ever influenced you to consider He doesn’t exist. Please know that my walk with God has only gotten stronger, it has wavered, but I’ve always known He was there with me, waiting for me. I do believe in God, He does exist and is with us to this day.